Real-talk with kids

There comes a time when you are faced with questions from your child where any answer you give them will seemingly be misunderstood. You might feel they aren't best situated to understand the answer to a particular question due to lack of understanding for the human condition or lack of the experiences required in order to better weigh the answer with.

I was on my way home from Isaac's and saw that I needed to get some gas. I pull in, and immediately see a man standing at my driver's-side window. I know the routine at this gas station, and I've seen this guy before. I told him that I didn't have change and wished him good luck. Of course he replied with 'I don't get lucky.' I thought nothing more of it and started home. Christian breaks the silence by asking,

"Hey, daddy. What did that guy say?"

"He wanted money to buy food."

"Oh. Did you give him any?"

I struggled for a second but then I figured this would be a good opportunity to tell him the importance of 'paying attention in school.' (Yeah, I know. Typical parent/son talk. Damn, I'm getting old.)

"I had money, but if I give him money, then I can't buy you food. This is why you need to make sure you pay attention in class, make good grades, get a good job so you have money when you get older." He pondered on that and said, "Daddy, everybody can't give him a car because then we wont have a car. And if you give him all our money, you can't buy me food, and then my stomach will hurt and then I'll die."

I adjusted my rear-view mirror so that I could look him in the eye and I said, "Exactly." Of course that was a bit more dramatic than what I would have said, but he understood. I know I didn't want him to get the impression that you should never help people, so I just told him to help people 'sometimes' when you can.

You have to remind yourself to give kids the benefit of the doubt at times. If you talk 'sense' to them, it might surprise you to learn how much they are able to understand.