Pick Your Poison

In an effort to limit Christian's SpongeBob Squarepants intake, I had to figure out a couple of ways to keep him preoccupied. I decided to devote the entire day after work to him without checking e-mail, calling friends, reading, etc. First we did sit-ups. He couldn't do even one, and even when I sat on his legs, he was pretty much laughing the entire time which only made it harder for him. He couldn't make up all the way without falling to the side and pushing himself up with his elbow. We then tried some push-ups. He was a little better at those but that's because everything below his pelvis stayed on the ground.

A bit later we read Edgar Allan Poe's short story; "The Tell Tale Heart". At first I thought it might be a bit much but then I realized that he likes darker stories like this regardless, so why not? It was storming tonight so that, along with the candlelight, set the tone especially when the thunder roared on cue. I immediately looked at him right after it sounded. His eyes were wide-open, and for a moment, he was frightened. If he didn't know better, he would think I planned it that way. Hell, I was impressing myself! Oh, and the sound of police sirens blaring outside helped as well. Normally this would be a memory you have of your father and remember for years to come. I imagined that in ten years he'd tell me that he really thought I made the thunder do that, etc. So I tried telling him I had a part in the sounds for the story just to see what he would say. His response was, "Uh-uh. You're lying. That was just the thunder." Little bastard.

A little after that, we re-enacted the story. I had to play the three cops along with the protagonist of the story. Christian played the man with the crazy eye. All he had to do was lay in bed while I plotted to, well uh, murder him and then dismember his corpse. Okay, so it sounds pretty morbid when I read it to myself, but for some reason it appeared a lot more playful during the re-enactment!

We then decided to play a game that I used to always play as a young sapling. Only it wasn't a game to me but is something I used to do in my mom's kitchen. I decided upon the name of "Pick Your Poison." (I don't think he would have played if I didn't give it such an edgy name.) What you do is find a bunch of items in your cupboard that nobody would ever eat and dare each other to take a drop on their finger and taste it, then vote on the one they hate the LEAST. Since I know Christian is a picky eater, I thought this would be hilarious to watch.


So here are the 'POISONS'.


It was so much fun watching his facial expressions. I think if you know Christian well enough, you'd agree with me that he was an extremely good sport to go through with this.



So when it came down to it, which did he hate the most, and which did he hate the least?




So he picked soy sauce as the 'poison' he hated the least. I brought the soy sauce into the competition at the very last second, which stripped the victory from the Lemon juice. However, he actually loved the soy sauce. I was a little confused. My theory though is that the soy sauce won only because his tastebuds were subjected to such torture that the soy sauce couldn't help but taste like chocolate by comparison. He eventually made me cook some white rice so he could drizzle the sauce on it. That, my friends, is how you reform a picky eater. Yeah, I meant to do that.

After our day, he didn't want anything to do with his little action figures, he wanted to play non-stop and would ask, "What are we gonna do next?" That was a lot of fun. It's easy to fall into a day-to-day routine and let complacency get the best of you. I know I'm not immune to that but I'm trying to avoid that trap as often as possible, and it's harder when you often times don't realize you're doing it. I still need time for myself to do things but a healthy weighing of priorities is essential, though I have to remind myself of that very often. Okay, I better get to bed, he needs me to tell him a bedtime story. Ugh. I'll go for something a bit more lighthearted. Hansel & Gretel, anyone?